What's Hiding Behind Your Fear of Public Speaking

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What's hiding behind your fear of public speaking? Do you know? And what are you afraid of?

Finding the answer to this question is one of the best things you can do as you get more and more comfortable with public speaking. You'll have to go deep, revisit experiences from your past that you'd rather forget forever (hello, bullying in school!).

You'll have to be brave, and look where you'd rather not look so that you can reclaim parts of yourself that you thought were lost forever. The good news? There is freedom on the other side. And truth.

So, let's get started. Where is your fear of public speaking coming from? To answer this question, I believe there're 3 places where we must look:

1. Your Personal History

When did you begin to feel small? When did you start to be silent?

For me, it was when my family moved to a new city. I was 9 and all of a sudden found myself with no friends and no one to talk to. I turned to food and stuffed my emotions and my voice along with it. 

What is it for you? That time in high school when you stumbled over your words and everyone laughed? Or when your dad kept scolding you for expressing your opinion? Or when your boss interrupts you at work and makes your self-esteem go down the drain?

2. Your Family History

Do you come from a long line of women being silent? I believe we carry in our bodies the memory of all women that came before us. On the upside, it's a cool thing, sort of like an extended sisterhood. The downside of this, however, is that we might carry things that are not ours, such as the memory and imprint of silence. 

The good news? You can cut the chord, rewrite the story, change your destiny. You don't have to be silent. 

3. Societal Messages

It's the sad truth that we live in a patriarchal culture that regularly devalues women. From the pay gap to lack of maternity leave, from the college sexual assault crisis to the rampant increase in depression and mental illness among women, we are paying with our minds and bodies.

Sadly, we have also internalized many of these messages--that we're "less than", that we're fat & ugly if we don't fit a certain (photoshopped) model of beauty, that we must starve our bodies and souls to be accepted, that we must be silent to not be burned at the stake,

Luckily, once you recognize that all these messages exist, you can begin to reclaim your worth. And your voice.