The REAL Secret Behind Irresistible Charisma



Last week I wrote a post about what it takes to be more charismatic. You can read it here.


Once I posted it and shared it with my newsletter, I started to dig deeper. What does it really mean to be charismatic? What makes someone charismatic? What is the secret to irresistible charisma?


I thought about myself … When I speak in front of others, people perceive me as charismatic. Yes, I smile. Yes, I’m grounded. Yes, I keep my posture open. But I know there’s something more.


What’s interesting is that I don’t fit the bill of what society commonly considers to be charismatic (which is, by the way, usually male, white, and extroverted).


See, I’m not a talker. I only speak up in meetings when I really have something to say. Many times I’m the one who speaks the least (oh, and the irony that I teach public speaking is not lost on me :) ). I’d much rather listen, digest everything that has been said, and only then voice my opinion.


And, yet, when I do speak, people listen. Like, really listen, as if I cast a spell on them or something. I see how they respond to me, I see their focus, which is often reinforced by their feedback. “You were born to do this,” they say.


I’ve heard this phrase so many times that I now actually believe it. At the same time, their comments leave me perplexed. I know I’m naturally good at teaching & speaking in front of others, but I have other personality traits that don’t necessarily fit the bill: I’m an introvert, I’m a woman of few words, I’m very introspective, I very much prefer silence over words (ah, the irony!).


So what is it that makes me so charismatic?


The secret is this: I tell the truth.


I only speak when I have something really, really important to say, something that I believe in 100%. I simply cannot speak words I don’t feel aligned with. I’m not the one to think out loud — and, worse, I totally blank out when I’m put on the spot. I need to think about my ideas. I need to think about my words, whether it’s for 10 minutes or 2 weeks.


This is what makes me charismatic. And this is what I strive towards when I work with my clients. I help them find words, ideas and a message that are truly aligned. I don’t want them to speak just because they feel they “should” say something. I want them to speak when it feels right, when they have something to say. And when they feel in their body that they do, I want them to not hold back.


If you’ve ever felt that you need to be more extroverted or that you should speak up more. If you’ve ever thought, “Oh God, what’s wrong with me!!”, I’m here to tell you that what you perceive as your weaknesses may actually be your greatest strengths.


In an extroverted world, a world full of noise and meaningless chatter, silence can be a revolutionary act. And speaking only when you truly have something to say is the secret to authentic charisma.


And now over to you … What do you think? Did it surprise you?


Let me know in the comments below.



Are you ...


... Struggling to figure out what to talk about that is truly yours and aligned? Read more here....




... Ready to ditch your fear of public speaking to the curb? Read about my exclusive program, SPEAK WITH CONFIDENCE, right here.