How to be instantly CHARISMATIC
When you’re in meetings or at networking events, do you often find yourself hoping no one notices you? Or, even worse, ask you a question?
You’re so lovely and open when you talk to close friends, but when the time comes to speak in public, you freeze, turn bright red, and mumble a few, confused words. That’s you, right?
I understand how you feel. Because that used to be me. Even though I looked accomplished from the outside, I felt like a scared little girl whenever I had to speak in front of others, even informally.
I’ve done a lot of work to overcome my fear, and I love to share what I discovered with you.
The key to getting over speaking anxiety is to develop this thing called CHARISMA.
Now, we tend to call “charismatic” people who’re extroverted, unafraid to express their opinion (or seemingly so), and kind of the life of the party. But that’s not what true charisma is. That’s maybe ONE way to be charismatic, but nothing more.
The root of the word “charisma” comes from Ancient Greek and it means GRACE. And I think this is so beautiful. Because charisma is not about being boastful, or extroverted, or unafraid. It’s about being unapologetically yourself.
Now, the question is: how do you get there?
Here are my 5 steps to become instantly charismatic. These are available to you right now, if you’re willing to take the ride.
1. Understand WHY you feel anxious.
What are you afraid people will find out about you? Are you afraid people will think you’re not as intelligent as you seem? Or that what you do is not worthy of attention? Usually this is an irrational fear grounded in childhood programming or some traumatic experience we’ve had (maybe we were shamed in school for speaking too much, or something else along those lines). It’s your job to take the time to get free of these fears. You owe it to yourself.
2. Believe in yourself.
There’s nothing more mesmerizing than a woman who’s fully in her power. A woman who’s fully aware of her gifts and what she brings to the table. I call this type of self-assurance, GROUNDED CONFIDENCE, and it’s mesmerizing. And it’s not about being cocky, or being people-pleasing. It’s about being loving, strong, and open. So, ask yourself, what would it take you to get there?
3. Prepare in advance & practice, practice, practice.
Sometimes we know ahead of times what we’re gonna be asked. For instance, if you’re going to a networking event, most likely people will want to know what you do and who you help. This is something you can prepare at home and rehearse as much as you can until it feels good and authentic (that’s key!).
4. Pause & think before you speak.
We often believe that, when someone asks us a question, we (1) owe them an answer and, (2) we owe them an answer right away. So we don’t take the time to think and, instead, we try to answer right away. The result? What comes out of our mouths is a jumbled mess that leaves our interlocutors confused and at a loss for words. When asked a question, it’s best to take a long deep breath, organize your thoughts quickly, and then calmly say what you have to say. It seems like something small, but pausing and thinking before you speak is going to be a game-changer.
5. Be your own best friend.
Not every time you speak will be fun. Some time will be awkward, other times you’ll wonder whether anyone got what you were trying to say, and some other times you’ll feel so connected with yourself and your audience that you’ll want to scream for joy. Whatever the case, do not abandon yourself! Logically assess what went well and what didn’t, and give yourself a pat on the shoulder for showing up despite the fear. This seems like a small step but, the more you do it, the more your confident muscle will grow, and the more step 1 to 4 will become easy. Got it?
Here you have it, my 5 easy steps to be instantly more charismatic.
And now, I’d love to know: did any of these resonate with you? And which one are you going to use first?
Let me know in the comments below.
I believe in you and your voice,
Ready to SPEAK WITH CONFIDENCE?
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