How to be AUTHENTIC when you speak (3 simple steps)
I’m often asked: how’s working with me different from Toastmasters?
Here’s my answer.
Toastmasters is about learning tips and tricks to become a better performer. It’s about learning canned strategies that look and sound the same for everybody. It’s about practicing and rehearsing so that you become really good at the “right” and “proper” speaking techniques.
And while all of that might sound good, my question is: where’s the heart? ❤️
‘Coz … I only work with women with a BIG heart.
Women who have an important message to share.
Women who want to be of service.
Women who care about the wellbeing of the planet and of the people they serve.
Women who value truth, authenticity, and connection over performance and perfection.
But I know that, if you are this woman, you’re also facing very specific challenges.
You’re doubting yourself because … Who do you think you are?!?
You’re questioning whether what you have to say really matters.
You’re unsure and nervous about sharing your message with others.
And I totally get it, I was there too (and I still struggle with this on a daily basis).
For this reason I’m sharing 3 simple steps to be AUTHENTIC when you speak while still sounding polished and professional (and they’re not what you think!).
These steps will change the way you think about public speaking. You’ll go from feeling anxious about “getting it right” to owning the power of your voice. Because the world needs your true, unfiltered message. The world needs the real you.
Step 1: Believe that you can be yourself when you speak on stage.
In other words: get over the false belief that you have to look and sound like everybody else. This can be challenging for women, since we’ve often been told (by society, our family, the media, etc.) that who we are is not enough and what we have to say doesn’t matter. But please understand that this is just a belief based on centuries of patriarchy, not the truth about the beautiful soul that you are. Your soul has a voice, and she’s ready to speak.
Step 2: Learn the rules … Then ignore them.
There’s something to be said about learning how to speak the “proper” way. It can be helpful. It’s like if you’re learning how to draw, you want to know how to properly draw the human body or trees or still life. You want to learn how to do it right. However, you can’t stop there. You need to learn the rules so that you can subvert them adding your own unique spin. Picasso had to learn how to paint in the classical sense before becoming a Cubist. And the same applies to you. Learn the rules, then forget them.
Step 3: Find your quirks.
What makes you, you? Do you have a unique story? An unusual hobby? A secret love for an 80s teen band? Take 10-15 minutes to brainstorm all the little (and big) quirks that make you a unique individual. And then incorporate 1 or 2 in your next speaking engagement, whether at the level of content or in your delivery and body language. If this idea makes you uncomfortable and makes you feel vulnerable, start small and grow from there. You can do it!
And now I’d love to hear from you: which step are you going to try first?
Let me know in the comment below and remember: I believe in you and your voice!