The 2 types of confidence you need (to kick ass as a speaker and in life!)
Public speaking’s a beautiful and complicated thing. Many dread it, many dream of it, many enjoy its adrenaline rush.
The truth is: there’s no ONE right way to do public speaking. But it’s also true that there’s MANY ways to do it wrong.
And you don’t want that, am I right?
I find that often people misunderstand what it takes to be a good public speaker. People usually think it’s all about techniques, and rehearsal, and strategy. While all of that IS important, it’s usually also not enough.
And that’s why we need to talk about the 2 types of confidence everyone needs to be a kick ass public speaker. A warning, first: this is not something traditional public speaking trainers usually talk about. Because it’s easier to just focus on the techniques. It’s easier to stay on the surface. But, I don’t like the surface. And the women I work with don’t like the surface, either. We like to go deep, tell the truth, and take action that’s aligned with our most authentic selves.
CONFIDENCE TYPE #1: EXTERNAL CONFIDENCE
This type of confidence is what traditional public speaking coaches and places like Toastmasters teach. It’s all about the externals, that is, the techniques, tips, tricks, and habits of successful speakers.
This stuff’s important, and essential in giving you the confidence you need to step on stage (or do a Facebook Live, record a YouTube video or a IGTV episode). But, it’s not all that there is to successful public speaking, and to feeling confident as a speaker. In fact, I know plenty of women who’re excellent speakers--in other words, they’ve mastered all the techniques--but they still feel nervous or uncertain during and after their speaking.
That’s because they haven’t yet mastered the second type of confidence.
CONFIDENCE TYPE #2: INTERNAL CONFIDENCE
Simply put, internal confidence is about knowing that you are enough. That, no matter what happens, you are enough. Even if you bomb it, you are, and will always be, enough.
Internal confidence is about self-love. It’s about owning all of you, your past, present, and future. Even owning your nerves when fear and anxiety are getting the best of you. It’s ok to be nervous!
Internal confidence’s about speaking kindly to ourselves, no matter what happens. The way to get there? We have to get brutally honest with ourselves, look at the dark sides of our stories and heal what needs to be healed. I believe that inner confidence can exist only when we are honest and start on the path of healing.
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You can start with one, or with the other. The order doesn’t really matter as long as you’re committed to developing both. Because both are necessary and needed, and one can’t exist without the other (even though, if you ask me, confidence #2 is the most important one).
And now, over to you:
Which type of confidence are you going to grow first? Let me know in the comments below.
And ... If you need some help getting started, schedule a free consultation here.
'Til next week,